he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Randomize
