Too much gin, very little bucket
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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