I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
We named our party play list daddy issues
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
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