I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
