too bad you live with your parents still
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
It's never too late to be topless.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize