In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth