Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.