I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I FOUND THE LEGS
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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