We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
