It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
