i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
