im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
