Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
The beer is more important than you right now.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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