My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
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