I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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