bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
