that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
did i walk over a car last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize