guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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