"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
