Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
wow bdsm is so cute
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
