"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
