i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
