we have pet lesbian snakes
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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