Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
