You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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