Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
