does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize