I can tuck mytits in my pants
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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