I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Randomize
