I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I smell like Dick and happiness
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