Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
