also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
