Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i think my mom watched the whole time
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
