Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
