Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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