It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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