Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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