do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
