I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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