Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
