I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
