ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Holy shit dude........stairs
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
