eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
The adults are the big ones right?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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