You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
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It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
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He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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