so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
