Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
