Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
