Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize