I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
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