Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Randomize
