why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Randomize
