Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize
