Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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