I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
