Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
This is the high leading the old right now
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Randomize
