I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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