All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Two words: nipple clamps
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