I hope mine doesn't look like that
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
