She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
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