Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
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